Sunday, August 10, 2008

What If The Other Parent is Opposed to Home Schooling

A concerned mommy-to-be asks...


"I am looking to home school my child. He is not born yet, but I want to get as much info as I can. My husband is totally against it. He says my son is going to public school just like I did. Do you know of any information that I could give him that may change his mind"



When I first decided to home school my children, my then husband was totally against it as well...his reason? He said I didn't have the patience required to do it...*blink*...I told him I was going to do it anyway, and I resigned from my job and did it. About 2 months into the process he was bragging to all of his co-workers and friends about how much our children were learning and now 18 years and one college bound graduate later he still is not as pro-home school as I am BUT he remains a doting daddy...


The truth of the matter is...we fear and are unsure of those things we do not understand and have not experienced. Most of us went to school as children and do not see another alternative. I would suggest sitting down with your husband and asking him if he honestly recalls his time at school being mostly positive or mostly negative? For most of us, school memories contain a great deal of fear, negativity, bullying, fighting and ridiculing by teachers and fellow students alike. If he recalls the negativity he experienced in school, tell him that you all have the opportunity to fill your son's life with mostly positive experiences in regards to his education by home schooling him...

Suscribe to Mothering magazine which supports home schooling and may be able to offer him differnt perspectives on it via its articles...research home schooling yourself so that you can give hm examples of people who home school and how their children are learning growing and succeeding...one high profile couple that comes to mind is Will and Jada Pinkett Smith and their children...find out what the source of his opposition is and speak with him about it...sometimes we have a fear of our children being "different" because we feel that it was the fact that we were "different" that caused us to be picked on and bullied during school...if that is the case with your husband discuss it with him in depth and explain that picking on other children comes from socialization being left to children as opposed to being led by adults...it has nothing to do with being "different"...we are all different in some wonderful way






And...perhaps most importantly and MOST POWERFUL...explain to him what your end result is...when I received paternal opposition for deciding to practice extended breastfeeding with my son, I was hurt and confused and did not know how to explain my decision to those who did not support breastfeeding. I prayed and asked my Ancestors to help me explain why this part of mothering was so crucial and after meditating to some Afrikan drums I was able to speak My Truth on the topic...I said " I will raise a Prince for you if you let me, my methods are unorthodox and what I do will not look like what other people are doing with their children, because I am seeking a different result. I promise you that if you trust me on this, you will be blessed with a son that you will always be proud of...who will be successful in anything that he puts his hand to...but you have to trust me and support me..."



I was honest about what my the end result is that I am looking for and the oppostion could NOT stand in the face of that....let your husband know why you want to home school, let him know what the end result is you are working towards and let him know that you will not sacrifice your child for any doctrine but will ALWAYS do what is best for him...but that you are willing to make sacrifices to give him the BEST each and every day...open up the dialogue on the topic with Truth and Honesty so that yall can discuss it and it does not become a matter of you against him but a matter of we both want what is best for our child




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