Had my first appointment with my Tennessee based midwife today
It went well
I realized, upon leaving her office that to be pregnant means to be full full full full full
of Love
And that is how I feel
I am full of the love the Universe has for me and so She/He/It has chosen me once again for such a sacred and monumental task
I am full of the love I have for myself, because I have accepted my mission with joy, thanksgiving, pride, awe, and downright giddy gigglishness over the fact that there is a PERSON growing inside my body AGAIN!
I am full of the love I have for my four children, whose lives, whose dispositions, whose characters, whose beauty, whose births have taught me that to give birth is one of the greatest spells a woman can cast
And I am full of the love that my lover and I were experiencing for one another at the moment
That the Most High in Her Holy Sanctuary was moved by our union and therefore blessed us with a new life
Soon there will be a lil mouth to suckle
A lil body to hold and bathe and caress and oil and kiss
Lil hands and feet to kiss and smell
Lil eyes to look into
A lil head to sniff and sigh onto
Soon I will have to stretch my body wide enough to allow ALLLLLL of that LOVE to flow out and join us all on this journey called life
BUT
I will always remember you thus
My baby's womb name is Damou
Zulu for "my love"
A womb name is a name that identifies the child for the time she/he is growing inside the mother and is no longer used once the child gets here
I must admit it is only today that I gained a full realization of why I chose that name
And even after having given birth four times before
I must admit that is was only today that I KNEW that to carry a life inside me is to be full
of love
My Love
Damou
Pregnancy is not an illness...women who are carrying children are not weaker or less competent or more delicate than everyone else on the planet
Quite the contrary...unborn children and the mothers who carry them survive and thrive in some of the world's most harsh conditions....starvation, war, slavery and rape
The continuation of life is stronger than all of these adversities
Pregnancy is a time of unbelievable strength, life altering change, forceful epiphanies, intense dreams, terrifying nightmares, and pure unadulterated POWER
Divine Power... called Ashe in our Yoruba Mother Tongue
When pregnancy and childbirth was taken out of the Magickal Hands of Granny Midwives and placed in the medicinal claws of obstetricians and gynecologists
Women had to be convinced that they were powerless, needy, weak, and physically vulnerable during pregnancy
And so modern pregnancy propaganda was produced and disseminated
I have seen women shrink from washing dishes because their bellies touch the counter and women who cry out when riding over potholes, women who are afraid to raise their arms above their heads thinking it would wrap the umbilical cord around the baby's neck, and on and on
I have seen how we have accepted the propaganda and believed the hype and therefore allowed others to dominate an area that is totally and unequivocably our domain
In actuality...pregnancy is the mystery of life, the magick of existence in plain sight on the physical plane
When you are carrying a child, listen closely...to your own desires and the voice of your unborn child
Allow these voices to be your guiding force
Pregnancy grants you the power that you need to manifest your dreams and with each child that power heightens and deepens and you as Mother gain a better understanding of it
Pregnancy is a ripening of womanhood, it is a higher level of womanliness, not a weaker diluted version
To the contrary, a woman's power is more concentrated than ever when she is carrying life
Bask in this power
Use this power
Embrace this power
Pregnant women have been said to be short tempered, irritable, surly and generally unpleasant I look upon these descriptions as indications of the fact that women who are carrying life are less able to deal with the inconsistencies and lies that they expected to cosign on a daily basis
Instead...the woman who is with child tells the truth more often than not
she does not lend her energy to maintaining the status quo and this is problematic and therefore viewed as negative
Pregnant women also take up lots of space...their big bellies, their big appetites and the sheer force of the energy they exude is big and wide
Bigness and wideness are not allowed in acceptable definitions of modern womanhood
Be WIDE ENOUGH...spread out...make room in the universe for the new bigness of yourself and the life that you are bringing into the world
More than anything pregnancy is used by the medical profession to convince a woman that she cannot trust her body and therefore herself, to do what it is supposed to do....you are made to feel that your body can and will turn against you at any time and cause harm to you and your coming child
When the truth is...your body all by Herself...is built to house, produce and maintain life
Your body houses the seed, the fertile soil, the water, and the nutrients to grow human life several times over
Woman is the house of power...and at no time is this more evident than when she is carrying a child
